Now Bethlehem was a busy town to begin with. Added to this fact was the requirement of everyone to come home to be included in the census.

(Historical note: Door-to-door versions of the census would not be developed until the mid- 1^st century, when it was discovered that people could often be convinced, by an enterprising census-taker, to contribute household items to the Centurion's Ball Honorarium merely by appearing at their door armed with a troop of soldiers.)

At this time in history, however, the Emperor much preferred uprooting people and having them travel to their home countries. The Imperial budget did not provide for census-takers to bring Roman troops with them; they at this point were using census-takers from the highly popular temp agency, Slaves-R-Us and could not, due to contractual obligations, risk the slaves' attempts at freedom.

An additional benefit to all the travel involved was that the travelers were increasing revenue at the Emperor's new chain of The Pita Principles, which were constructed in strategic spots along all major highways. The restaurants were guarded by Roman soldiers, who could be seen in the parking lot chatting over a Pita Principle special invented for the Emperor. These small, round pastries could be filled with jelly, whipped cream, and the like or covered with powdered sugar. A rival restaurant was run by a man known as Dennyus, who offered light fare prepared fresh 24 hours a day. Though popular, Dennyus himself had been thrown to the lions when one of his waitresses had inadvertently overcharged a Roman Senator for a small order of badger spleens.

Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem late one night. With no method for making reservations ahead, the status quo was 'first- come- first- served'. In short, there was no room at the innÖ many times over. Joseph would enter a promising-looking place, only to have its owner point to a hastily-scrawled "No Vacancy" sign. Joseph was beginning to get discouraged. One of the owners said to him, "Why don't you try over at Crazy Mustapha's Roadside Inn? It's never gotten a four-star rating from the Imperial Camel Association, but you'll probably get a clean, comfortable room for a reasonable price."

Joseph raised an eyebrow at the innkeeper. "Why are you so generous to give Mustapha the business?"

"He's my brother-in-law, and if he makes enough money on this census deal he's going to buy out this inn from me. Then I'll be able to retire and go fishing up on Lake Galilee!" The innkeeper got a faraway look in his eyes.

Joseph muttered his thanks and stepped out into the twilight. The sun had just gone down and the air was beginning to become chilly. Mary looked at him with a pained question on her face. "No, not here, either," replied Joseph. "He gave me the name of a place to try. How are you doing?"

"Not too well," said Mary, rolling her eyes at her stomach. A little foot kicked at just that moment, rippling the surface of her robe. "He certainly seems to be ready to come out and meet us!"

Back to Shecky's House

Next

Back