The next morning, as Joseph was installing the locust-bean dispenser at The Pita Principle, a Roman soldier entered. Ducking beneath a scaffold, he came up to the carpenter bearing a scroll. Joseph looked nervously at him. "W- what's the problem, Centurion? I just rendered to Caesar what belongs to Caesar last month! Is there a new tax? Building a new aqueduct or something?"

"No, no, nothing like that," replied the Centurion, whose name was Naughtius Maximus (transferred from the Bethlehem garrison). "The Emperor has decreed a royal census to be taken. You'll need to be counted in your city of birth. Would you like me to read the scroll?"

"No, that's not necessary, Naughtius", said Joseph.

"Well that's a bloody relief. Do you know how many times I've had to read this thing this morning? Where would you have to go, anyway?"

"Bethlehem. I'm from Bethlehem." Joseph looked at the locust-bean dispenser, then at the wild-honey cup stand. Now here was a blessing from the LordÖ he would not have to have Mary (or himself) exposed to the jeers of being pregnant before the marriage. He silently thanked the Lord for this opportunity.

Naughtius Maximus' eyes were wide. "Hey-- you're from Bethlehem? I'm from Bethlehem! What exit?" The two men compared notes for some time.

Joseph timidly knocked at Mary's door. Her mother answered it, her face drawn into a scowl. "Well, what do you want?" she demanded. "Mary cried herself to sleep last night, you bum!"

Mary came to the door of the inner room. Sheepishly, she stared at Joseph, eyes tear-stained. "I'm sorry, Joseph, maybe it's better if we don't see each other right now."

Joseph said, "I came to apologize." He looked at Mary's mother, who glared at him but stepped aside. Joseph strode over to Mary. "Have you heard the decree? I have to go to Bethlehem to be counted in the census. I figure the Emperor is calculating the new income tax for the Servium Revenue Interia to collect. I would like to bring you with me and have you counted as my wife. If you still wish to be my wife, that is." He held her hands in his and stared into her eyes.

Mary let out tears of relief and fell into Joseph's arms. "Hallelujah, thank The Lord for you!" She looked back into Joseph's eyes. "Of course I will marry you, knucklehead*!" (*=loosely translated from the ancient Aramaic.) She leaned around Joseph to look at her mother. "See, Mother, I told you he would come back!"

Mary's mother busied herself with a broom. "MmmHmmÖ Well, welcome to the family, Son," she muttered.

The next days were a whirlwind; Joseph and Mary got their lives in order, and then Joseph packed the donkey for the long trip down to Bethlehem. He made certain to pack road maps, extra water, some packets of locust beans, and little word-find scrolls for Mary to do on the way. Mary also packed a couple of scrolls from the then-famous author Grishamus Johnicus, who wrote exciting scrolls about minions of the burgeoning, corrupt Roman legal system.

They traveled then to Bethlehem. During the long journey, Mary started to notice that she was having contractions pretty regularly as they approached Bethlehem. Joseph knew they had to pick up the pace.

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