And the shepherds in the hills were terrified at the blasting choir and the intense, searing light in the middle of the night... but the angel said,

"Be not afraid, for today we celebrate your shot at eternal life. Today unto you in the City of David is born a Savior, the Most High, King of Kings. Go into the stable behind Crazy Mustapha's Roadside Inn, and you will see the baby, wrapped in swaddling cloths and laying in the manger."

The shepherds regained their composure, and, after daubing the beads of sweat from their foreheads, agreed to place the sheep in the pen and go to visit the modest stable. The youngest of their company was also the poorest; while the shepherds were no Rockefellers, they brought some trinkets with which to honor their Messiah. The young boy, however, had no gift to bring. He instead opted to bring a percussion instrument into the midst of the stable where a newborn resided. He played the drum, which most brand-new, immediately-past-labor mothers would have made all attempts to suppress, but fortunately the baby loved the music (which His heavenly Father had created in the first place).

King Herod Gets the News

In the meantime, 3 kings from the far reaches of the known world had, at the behest of their court astrologers, traveled to see the result of the birth which the brightest star in the sky had predicted. Normally, these Kings were satisfied to sit at home doing crossword puzzles, running empires, and so forth, but had decided that the trip was well worth it, since it was for the birth of the One who would reign over all that they themselves surveyed. So they loaded up the camels and went to Bethlehem. They had stayed overnight at Herod's Shipyard Inn, and, during the evening, Balthasar elected to box with King Herod. Herod's pugilistic efforts were no match for the humble Balthasar, who graciously laid Herod out flat. Gaspar and Melchiorr elected to merely watch and enjoy the bounty of Herod's table. The conversation, after Herod regained consciousness, drifted to ships, sealing wax, captains, and, inevitably kings.

Now, old Herod was what you might call a jealous man... he had put wives and their supposed lovers to death for conversations, spied on the kids, and had gone so far this particular evening as to bribe the three visiting kings' royal astrologers to add his name to all of their crossword puzzles. As an aside, the hints the three kings would be subjected to were on the order of, "Greatest King of the Known World", "Your Royal Connection", and "King of Boxing" (Balthasar noticed his name didn't fit in only five spaces). He heard that the True King of Everything was to be born, while chatting over some homas with Gaspar. At this time, Herod figured his time was growing short and that he had better do something about it.

The Wise Men noted the king's behavior, so when they were on the road to Bethlehem, they decided to journey home via the detour to avoid seeing Herod. Out of sight, out of mind.

They noticed that the guiding star was shining on the stable of the immensely popular Crazy Mustapha's Roadside Inn. As they arrived, they spied a crowd of shepherds leaving the stable, bowing and praising. Melchiorr stepped up to one of them. "Excuse me, friend," he said, "we were looking for the newborn king? Could you point us in the right direction?"

The shepherd said, "Hallelujah! The Savior is born! Just go into the stable and turn left at the donkey... you can't miss him!"

The Wise Men brought their gifts into the stable. They brought the traditional gold, frankincense, and myrrh... all valuable in the economy of the day. A camel driver with the 3 Kings' touring company brought in a fruitcake, but he was promptly sent away. He shared the fruitcake with the shepherds, joining them in a rousing singing of sacred Psalms with the little drummer boy keeping the beat.

For the first time since before Adam and Eve's forbidden fruit snack, all was right with the world.

PaRuppaPumPum... Have a blessed Merry Christmas!

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