Shecky's House of Eats' Total Food Groups
*grouped pyramid style*
- Fats, Oils, and Sweets Group. 1—3 servings daily.
Why so little? What, after all, is the meaning of life?
- Protein Group. 2—3 servings daily.
There are 2 schools of thought on this:
1. Eat proteins sparingly, and don't get too attached to meat. Eat some nuts.
2. If you catch it, you can eat it. (Note: This does not necessarily mean that you should go into the Meat Department of your local market wearing Blaze Orange clothing and carrying a 30.06 hunting rifle.)
Dairy Group. 3—4 servings daily.
Even if you don't care for milk, you've gotta love the commercials. And who says cows don't have a sense of humor?- Vegetable Group. 3—5 servings daily.
Take your pick, even if it is broccoli 
at gunpoint! Just remember that you can always replace a serving or two with an icy-cold glass of V8TM (which my kids would rather be shot than drink— their loss)!
Fruit Group. 4—6 servings daily.
Now, really, you should know that a package of Starburst Fruit ChewsTM does not replace a serving of fruit. Well... maybe the strawberry ones. OK, and 
cherry, when the strawberry runs out.- Bread Group. 6—11 servings daily.
I'm not recommending a bread sandwich... but this should be a no-brainer. Remember that pizza 
delivers not only a bread, but a dairy, a vegetable, and a meat! And don't waste that pizza crust— dunk it in garlic butter! Wouldn't want you to miss out on an extra fat, oil, or sweet!
- Beer Group (includes Coolers!). 6—18 servings daily.
Need I say more?
Chocolate Group. 12—24 servings daily.
And last but certainly not least, the all-important chocolate group. It goes without saying, but you can see from the recommended daily servings that it's never too early or too late for chocolate. And, in the efficient style shown in pizza above, a SnickersTM bar delivers a chocolate, a sweet, and a protein!
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